#84 – Tokyo Tribe

Movie MotherFuckers,

Well this week we were supposed to watch some kind of Halloween themed movie. but we gave up almost instantly when ‘Wolfcop’ and ‘All Cheerleaders Die’ weren’t on Netflix anymore. So we let Bill go to the list again and pick one of his movies.

NERIMUTHAFUCKAZ, Tokyo Tribe Never Ever Die

So we got to reading…
Luckily we didn’t have to do a lot since there wasn’t much in the way of plot. Just a lot of stone cold rappings. We get introduced to a lot of people that we think are main characters but we never see them again. The move spends the first 30-45 minutes introducing the various ‘warriors-esque’ gangs that each get their own 5 minute rap video.

There’s sort of a Shakespeare type narrator that you keep thinking is some kind of main character, but it never happens. There are a lot of ‘fan service’ moments where they show gratuitous boobies or underwear shots. If someone got a nosebleed instead of an erection… it would be anime.

So the only plot is that the bad guys kidnap the daughter of some higher up bad guy and they don’t know it. But her dad was planning on sacrificing her to the Japanese devil in some kind of ceremony… so it’s all good, cause she’s some kind of secret ninja.

Eventually the all of the Tokyo tribes are united and they have a pretty decent battle as they attack the compound and kill ’em all real good.

Maybe it was because the movie was so fucking long, but it should have been more exciting, but everything in the first hour was DRAGGING ASS. It wasn’t until the second half that the action got faster and the raps got better.

Looking at the screenshots and the weird subtitles and thinking back on it there are enough weird things that I think it might get better the second time through. (old lady DJ, weird old master, the bad guys, maybe I pay attention more)

Thoughts.

• The big bad guy is constantly getting blowjobs of fondling women. This guy is a sex addict. 
• This plot is all over the place, it’s like Romeo and Juliet mixed with west side story mixed with the Warriors
• Bad guys face tattoo is dumb
• There’s a whole section at the end about how the bad guy is jealous of bigger dicks. a LONG section
• The spinning blade fan seems to kill ALL OF THE BAD GUYS… it’s in their house? THEY INSTALLED IT. 
• Someone pointed out that this seems like a 16th birthday gift to some rich guys son, spot on. 

I took so many screenshots, but I could only narrow it down to 44… so they’re attached.

look through them, it’s crazy. 

-Mark