Movie Vampires,
I don’t know what I thought we were going to see last night, but I did not expect this. It’s kind of amazing that you can listen to comedians describe a movie for an hour and still not have any idea of the plot. But this movie was insane.
Vampires Kiss 1988
Recap!
Nic Cage stars as a literary agent at a prestigious NYC publisher who brings in the big bucks and has all the finest things the late 80’s has to offer, Fine suits and extra large printers. He meets a woman at a bar and she is very impressed by his fancy man accent. She is about to give up the booty but a LARGE very realistic bat interrupts them. Nick cage fights it off and they both escape and get into a cab. We assume that they went back to her place… but who knows. He tells his shrink that he was sexually aroused by the bat fight. He goes back to the same bar and picks up ANOTHER hot curly haired woman. They are about to have weird 80’s sex and whammo she bites his neck. In a key scene when he brings her coffee in the morning she’s not there, but he doesn’t realize that. From this point on it’s a decent into madness.
well that was terrible.
Bill
I think we’ll have to go speed round to get all through it.
Speed Round!
- His hair is getting crazier and greasier with every moment
- There is a mime fight behind him for NO REASON.
- He is super terrified of the vampire woman and stands up the first girl.
- They reuse the same sex vampire scene again
- He destroys his apartment TOMMY WISEAU STYLE
- Vampire woman is 80’s HOT.
- He is totally convincing he is a normal person with this singing of the ABCs
- he is REALLY taking it out on his secretary for not getting THAT CONTRACT
- He goes FULL NICOLAS CAGE.
- He did not get fired for chasing his secretary into the bathroom
- she did not even get a raise for reporting him. AHH THE 80’s.
- Eventually he chases the secretary into a parking garage and rapes her.
- He runs though the lobby yelling “I’m a Vampire” like a drunk toddler.
At this point the movie is rolling at a million miles an hour and every scene is pure distilled Nic Cage GOLD. He buys fake vampire teeth and returns to the club and kills a woman (nobody notices him) he then wanders the streets of NYC with a large stake talking to himself and then finally returns to his apartment. He is eventually STAKED by the secretary’s brother.
Despite the quickness of this recap, I cannot emphasize how much I loved this movie. It’s totally insane. It starts out so slow.. and builds to a glorious chreshendo of pure Cage.
Goins totally redeemed himself and this was a great movie. He’s allowed to stay.
See You Next Thursday!
-Mark
Some of the scenes did not go the way I would have predicted, which is why I think I enjoyed it more than the rest of you.
Chris
Vampire's Kiss is a 1989 American black comedyhorror film directed by Robert Bierman, written by Joseph Minion, and starring Nicolas Cage, María Conchita Alonso, Jennifer Beals and Elizabeth Ashley.[3][4][5] The film tells the story of a mentally ill literary agent whose condition turns even worse when he believes he was bitten by a vampiress. It was a box office failure but went on to become a cult film.
source : wikipedia