#90 – Street Trash

Movie Bums,

Last night movie night almost didn’t happen, some say it shouldn’t have. Three of us entered the thunderdome as boys and left husks of men. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​
I attached a few, but there are many screenshots. maybe worth it? oh god, what have we done. 

This is a movie? I guess? Or maybe it’s one of those things that the FBI shows to recruits to desensitize them. I’m not sure there is a main character or even a plot. But I’ll try… 

Recap.

We open on a young filthy Charlie Manson who gets chased though an apartment building, he interrupts people having sex… the film is off to a good start. He lives in that magical city of 1980’s New York City, a crime ridden hellhole that Donald Trump will purchase and mortgage to become our future overlord. He escapes and goes to his office… nope, it’s the liquor store where he steals some old dusty bottle of VIPER liquor from a small business owner. On his way back to his home in a junk yard, where the entire population of Street Trash live, he is beaten and robbed.

We are then shown the streets of NYC, overrun by hordes of disgusting street people just waiting to wash your car windows. A nerdy guy politely refuses, he is brutally murdered by MONGO the hobo leader in front of his girlfriend, there are no consequences for this.

I still am trying to figure out if this was a dystopian future society or was shit during the 80’s worse than I remember?

Charlie

The tramp that beat up Charlie Manson takes a sip of his ill gotten hooch and slowly dissolves into a blue pile of goo. It’s legit gross. 

Angry Cop is now on the scene of the dissolved man, he questions Worse Teeth Paul Scheer about any information.  I left the room at this point, but apparently there was another dissolving situation and a businessman takes it in the face. 

Back at the junkyard we get a glimpse of Mongo’s throne. You’d think that the junkyard owner would notice that he’s built a 30 foot castle in the back of the junkyard? But I guess he’s too busy trying to rape his employees… more on that later. More gross Street Trash are milling about, each one filthier than the last.

There’s a lot of shit going on in the next part, without any meltings… I’ll try to hit the high points. 

• The cops examine the cheekiest burnt skeleton while the coroner eats a mayonnaise sandwich right next to it.
• Mongo has a NAM flashback, SUPPORT THE TROOPS!
• Young Charlie Manson leads a plastered drunk woman back to his lair for some semi-consensual sex, but then she is stolen away and gang raped and murdered by the rest of the hobo horde.
• Fat Junk Yard owner Bam Bam Bigelo is too fat to rape his asian employee so he has sex with the dead body….
• THIS IS A MOVIE WE WATCHED FOR FUN!
• Mongo cuts the dick off of a guy who is peeing next to him and they play monkey in the middle with the severed penis.
• Angry Cop beats up a hitman and then throws him in the toilet and vomits on him.
• Fat jumpsuit hobo finds some Viper and explodes.
• Young Charlie Manson sees this and starts to put things together, he gets the bottle and gives it to another hobo on purpose who melts into a putrid pile of sludge.
• Mongo kills the Angry Cop.
• Liquor store owner also melts.
• Mongo’s horrific vagrant woman melts her tits off, it’s all super gross. we are all gross by proxy.  
• The nice clean non-raped Asian junk yard employee then decides that she wants some dirty hobo meat deep inside her and seduces Young Charlie Manson’s Brother.
• An Enraged Mongo terrorizes them through a surprisingly well organized warehouse. In the end he is blasted through the chest by a 4 foot oxygen cylinder, mega gross.   
  

I left out the subplot of the Mob connected restaurant owner who is looking for who killed his girlfriend. The gas mask wearing magical black hobo guy who steals raw chicken in his pants and later gets domed by a lead pipe. And the epic line… “Why don’t you kill the black guy, nobody’s going to care anyway”

You had me at Penis Monkey in the Middle. 

Kinda glad I missed this other than that…

Chris

Seems like you all dodged a bullet here by sleeping, or watching tv, or just being outside in the cool air with nice people.

We did a gross thing here. 

Maybe next week will wash the shame away!

-Mark