Movie Scientists, Have you ever wanted to watch a movie where bunch of horned up scientists are trapped on a remote space station where they are attacked and eventually farmed as a food source by a crude Alien knockoff? You didn’t even know what you were missing in your life. I did a little research and found out that even in 1982 this was reviewed as ‘low budget’ which is evident by the takeout containers lining the walls. But for me it was full of the excessive nudity, unintentional humor and weird plot choices that make an old bad movie great. 

Movie Droids,  The question we have from last week is how can that movie that features a giant robot dick chainsaw be so slow and boring. The answer is probably “low budget 80’s special effects” But there were so many thumbs up from everybody in this movie that I have to give it credit for that. I think the major message is that women may talk a big game but will instantly crumble under the slightest pressure, AM I RIGHT, HIGH FIVE, Thumbs UP! WHOOOOOOOO TEX! and then it just fucking ends, all friends again, thumbs up. 

Movie Ghouls, It feels like it’s been a long week since we all got together and watched “AAAH Zombies”! A movie that I enjoyed way more that I should have. It was clearly low budget but it has that quality that I love. Nacho cheese soaked zombie makeouts. 

Last week was the 19th installment of online movie night. If I hadn’t been the one to choose Megaforce, I would have faked an injury and went off to do literally anything else. There are absolutely zero quotable zingers that could have made this movie worth the time invested.

Movie Freaks, We did it, 18… finally legal. So forget about all those good times we had before as they are now underage. Last week we watched ‘Castle Freak’ a movie that has many more shots of mutilated genitals as it does of anything else.

Movie Marauders, Last week we watched another one of those new ‘Good Bad’ style movies in the vein of the immortal classic “Manborg”. But this one had what that was missing… what that useless kid from Captain planet also had… HEART. It was weird how much I actually cared about this weird bmx kid and his (spoiler) robot girlfriend. It was a little weirdly gross at parts but at least it stayed consistent through the whole movie. 

This tale opens up in the current life situation of an adult Caillou who has long since left the streets of Canada to experience life in the big city.  He ends up moving to what I believe is New York to be a martial arts practitioner, competing in large exhibition tournaments.  Genetics serve him well because despite his leukemia patient appearance as a child, he manages to grow solid thick locks in adulthood.  

Movie Padres, Last week Dan was out so we pinch hit ‘Nacho Libre’ in honor of Cinco De Mayo. I really like this movie! It’s one of those that is a little slow and purposefully weird, but I find it has a happier tone than Napoleon Dynamite that came before it. You need to integrate the quotes into your life before you completely appreciate it.

Amigos Peliculianas, We did tit again, some of us crossed a movie off our ‘bucket lists’ and some of us realized that you can never go back to your 20’s. Right up there next to Raging Bull and The Godfather, we watched…Kung Pow: Enter The Fist

Movie Fellows, In case you forgot, cause I totally did. Tonight is movie night. Last week we did what we have never done before, we PAID TO WATCH A MOVIE. I still haven’t received your 40 cents each to watch that movie.. besides you Suleman.