#124 – Hollow Man

Kevin Bacon’s Dong,

Hello there old friend. It’s been a long time and I shouldn’t have left you… without a dope beat to step to. But also you are a maniac rapist. So does it really matter if we can see you?

I think this was chosen by Qaadir? Or maybe jsut chosen by the group in a conversation on Discord. either way we are celebrating the 20th anneversary of HOLLOW MAN.

It’s a movie that I probably saw in theaters, or at least I def saw in a group setting with a couple of couples. Before the movie started we probably had some kind of conversation about what you would do with invisible superpowers. I love invisible man movies. Zapped, Memiors of an Invisible man, that dream I keep having. But then as soon as the movie starts you kind of realize that the only reason you want to be invisible is to see boobs… when you’re a boy, this is amazing. Because thats the only thing you want. But then the cold realization that everyone else thinks youre a creep washes over you.

So anyway fun time Kevin Bacon is this hotshot scientist who is researching invisiblitiy. The movie statts off at a pretty good pace with great special effects. Its also pretty believable if you look past the fact that they WOULD NOT BE USING A GORILLA? Holy shit use some lesser ape? I think they reused the computer models from Congo to save money. Also ignore how lax security is and how attractive everyone is. Besides that nerdy guy that’s in everything, this is an all star sexy cast. Bacon, Shue, Brolin, Kim Dickens, and a peak Grunberg.

They crack the formula, but Bacon doesn’t want to tell the Pentagon yet because they will take over the research. Which doesnt make sense because everyone on the panel seems to think that the research is impossible. He’s the only Dr Frankenstien that is close to this. He might lose a little control, but he’s going to be in charge.

So there might as well be a party research montage becasuse Shue and Brolin agree to keep the secret and move to phase 3 (human testing) with Bacon as the subject. Nobody else questions this. Even on a small project, there would be tons of chances to tell someone. not to mention just emailing someone.

SO, turning invisible works right away but THE FIRST NIGHT while under observation Bacon sneaks up and grabs a boob of one of his coworkers. Now we could talk about her lack of sleep, thin cardigan, and no bra. BUT THIS WAS THE 90’s.

Lots of scenes in this movie use “austin powers level” of dong blocking. But only when Bacon is visible, when his skin goes clear, they show it in all of its veiny glory. Its an impressive choice.

Speed Round

• Every second from this point on gets more unbelievable and more and more creepy.
• most of the special effects hold up pretty well.
• Everyone knows this is a bad idea.
• how is Kim Dickens, not like “I woke up with my boob out?”
• Elizabeth Shue has a lot of interactions staring directly into the camera, not sure if hot.
• He doesent wear pants as a choice, I mean he’s still naked, even if they cant see him, RIGHT?
• the rubber mask thing is a smart cost saving choice, respect. but also, then he starts wearing clothes too.
• invisible puke? HOW DO YOU CLEAN IT UP!?
• paper based pornography, oh 2000!
• Invisible rape, most creepy
• But then Grunberg is also kind of into it, just the 90’s male I guess.
• Why is Bacon not working on his own body, he’s the expert right?

They just keep him there like a rat and he gets creepier and creepier. He tricks the camera to have a loop, so he can escape and do creepy invible things. But it must take him at least an hour to get out of the lab, to his house and then back. So how does nobody not just GO OVER TO THE BED AND ASK IF HE’S THERE.

So the final 40 minutes of the movie are just a horror movie with an invisible guy. At first he’s just a naked guy, but then it seems like he turns into an invisible Jason Voorhees. An unstoppable, unburnable, unkillable force of nature. I think the biggest flaw in this part is that he’s naked all the time. At certain points they are grappling with him.

JUST GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT!

Many People.

So it’s a pretty entertaining watch, but not that exciting to make fun of. There are a couple special effects dong sequences, so look out for that.

The youngest woman in the main cast of this movie is 35, this is after they had Denise Richards playing Dr Christmas Jones at 25. Maybe that’s why I at 39 think this is one sexy movie but also… that Bacon dong.