A night to remember the classics.
Movie Katas, Last week on the illustrious movie night we watched the weird 80’s classic “Gymkata”. The skill of gymnastics, the Kill of Karate! Which follows in the grand 80’s tradition of hiring a star with one specific skill and this time it’s not acting!So the plot of this movie has all of the 80’s cliches. Secret agent Dad killed in action, world champion athlete son, training montage, sex montage, seducing a woman by doing sarcastic backflips.
Alright movie comrades, Mark has tasked me with reviewing last weeks movie selection, which has come to be known as the film that dictated all of his adolescent life decisions. I am greatly honored that he would place such responsibility in my hands. For me it is the sole equivalent to critiquing his life as we know it.
Movie Krullers, Last week we watched KRULL! A movie that I was sure I had seen before since I knew what that silly Krull blade was my entire life. But I was wrong. I may have been confusing it with Kull the Conqueror. My recap is fueled by wikipedia since I missed large sections of the movie dealing with a cranky baby. So… In a galaxy far far away… a giant space castle lands on a planet. Named KRULL apparently. Alien soldiers called slayers pour out of it and murderize anyone across the land. Two kingdoms decide to join forces through marriage and fight back. The princess is a smoking hot redhead who we do not see enough of in the movie. The prince is a tight pants wearing feathered haired ninny who would be more at home selling you bootleg John Denver cassettes out of the back of his Trans Am in a Denny’s parking
Movie पढ़ाकू, Last week we watched Singham. We had to read some of it, so you know it was Erskine’s pick. Lets describe the movie. But first you have to imagine that epic music is playing all around you and they lyrics all sound like gibberish except every 2 minutes you hear Singham! Singham! Singham!
Movie Farting Zombies,Last week we watched ‘Spookies’ and boy was it. It was a little hard to follow because of the low D’s and also because according to Chris it was two movies sandwiched together.
NO RECAP???
Best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. In this case it’s a man in a wig strangely murdering two children before he moves to the parents including the man who is to become the Kabukiman. With the soon to be host now dead what else is there to do except pass the Kabukiman spirit to another host.
Movie Hectors, This week we watched ‘Night of the Comet’ from 1984. What were we thinking. When I was 15 and turned off this movie after 25 minutes I could have never imagined that there was 110 more minutes of film. Zombie new wave gays, sub machine gun dance party, suicidal feminist scientist, A double zombie dream sequence, Fucking Hector!…
Where to begin my kung-fu masters? Last week, in honor of everyone’s favorite month long national remembrance, we watched Black Belt Jones. It had kung-fu, it had car chases, it had rape, it had a car wash, it pretty much had everything you could ever want in a 70’s blaxploitation classic. Except tits and ass, with exception of the briefest of nudities as a random exhibitionist couple scampered from their love tent on the beach, which was only to be replaced with the most playful and passionate rape sequence cinema has ever produced.
Movie Pervs, Watching ‘The Great Bikini Offroad Adventure’ was a flashback to simpler times in many ways. In that it was surely recorded off a bad VHS copy with audio issues [HI-FI]. But also that a movie like this even could exist, the market had to be late night premium cable, because there’s not 5 minutes of the movie that there’s not a topless woman on screen [HI-FI]. But also, Only topless dancing, no touching unless its in a committed relationship. So it has this weird morality for a hard R movie.