Movie Crocodile spirits, Where do I even begin.  I guess I’ll start by proclaiming I thoroughly enjoyed this movie.  As a story, all put together it doesn’t make total sense.  This is probably because it seems like two different movies where spliced together for no apparent reason to the viewer.  There’s a pretty solid A story, albeit highly imaginative and immersed in rape culture mystic fantasy that’s full of all sorts of comical plot holes.  But then there’s probably about 30 minutes or more of a random Jean-Claude Van Damme-esque priest-cop action suspense thriller involving a sorceress to summons zombie vampire ninjas for some reason, spliced into this movie and it really just distracts from the good stuff.  I believe someone even pointed out that the main characters from the story are never on screen with the “vampires” or sorceress from the other story.  I use the term vampires loosely

Continue reading#122 – Crocodile Fury

Movie Parishioners,  Last week we watched Velocipastor… A movie so realistic you will not believe that you aren’t living it live. in the tradition of movie night classics like Turbo Kid,The Gingerdead man, and Manborg, it’s “bad on purpose” unlike those movies it seems like any of us could probably make this in their backyard with a couple halloween costumes and some puppets.  But did we do that? No we didn’t god dammit. 

Movie Movie Fighters, Well we did it, We finally watched the same movie again. 118* times and this is the first repeat. SUPERFIGHTS! is a direct to video karate movie from 1995. I was so surprised by this movie the first time we watched it. On this viewing I was less surprised by how wacky the plot and characters are and how bad the acting was (this was one of those movies where NOBODY has another IMDB credit.) I was actually surprised by how entertaining the fight sequences were. I mean they were probably sped up a little bit… but it was pretty good fighting?

Movie Hitmen,  Last night we watched a time capsule of weird late 90’s fashion coated in a weird coating of bizarre comedy. I think I saw this movie in theaters, it was released during the time when I was literally seeing every single movie that was released. I remember feeling a weird feeling… is this good? Is this incredibly bad? I had no idea! It was just confoundingSo what was the conclusion with an additional 22 years of movie watching experience? I still have no idea.

Movie Assassins,  Last week we continued movie night by watching one of those weird movies where it’s CRAZY ALL THE TIME, non-stop action party. Guns Akimbo is a pretty fun movie, but I’ll watch Daniel Radcliffe in anything. I think because he stashed all that Harry Potter money, he just makes any weird thing he wants. Did anybody see the one where he played a corpse the whole time?

Movie Homeless Santas, We have watched a lot of movies and we have watched a lot of weird movies and we have watched a lot of bad movies and we have watched a handful of foreign movies. Last night we watched a movie that feels like it got away from us for too long. Maybe because it was French and came out in 1989… but we tracked it down and watched it. FORMIDABLE. 

Movie Kringles,  Last week we watched a festive holiday film, Fatman. Where Mel Gibson plays a down on his luck Santa, forced to manufacture parts for US government spy satellites all while being stalked by a hitman sent by a spoiled rich kid. Now this premise seems very wacky, but the movie is surprisingly subtle. Everything about the ‘north pole’ location seems legit. Santa lives in a quiet small town and tries to make ends meet delivering toys. I’m not really sure how he’s getting paid to do that? are they running on Christmas cheer? Is this the plot of The Santa Clause 3… 

Tiny Movie Men,  What can you do with a 13 inch man? This week we watched Dollman. I finally found a copy of it and we seem to have a system that works with twoseven. We should probably test out some of the other streaming options, but the google drive thing works for now. 

Movie Gentlemen,  Last week we returned to some form of movie night, watching FX from 1986 on TwoSeven.xyz. 

Movie Buddy Cops,  I totally spaced on writing a recap of last last week. But since I’m an OCD completionist I literally can’t stop. We had just Me, Chris and Ivy. But statistically 1/3 of us hadn’t seen this movie. Last week we watched a classic 80’s genre defining action movie, Tango and Cash. I pretty much only remember the part at the end where they drive the ‘badass RV’ and blow shit up. But there is a lot more to this movie. Unfortunately I both don’t have the energy to recap a movie that most of us have seen… and it’s been at least a week by the time of writing this.