A night to remember the classics.
Movie Gods, Last week we fulfilled the Johnson prophecy and watched Hercules(1) from 1983. While it was better than the sequel, it was in no way a good movie. Sweet Lou’s dickless body really set the tone for the film. It did have an angry Hercules throw a bear into space and later travel through space on a chariot tied to a rock. So it had that going for it.
Movie Virgins, Well if you missed this one, you missed one hell of a ride. The hilarity, the emotions, the confusion. It’s hard to describe this movie without giving you many details about the production or just explaining out each plot point individually. I think we discussed on the last email chain many of the details. But I have gone on to try to explain this movie to two separate groups of people, they didn’t really get why I was so confused… It must be seen.
Movie Deathstalkers, Way back 3 weeks ago we watched Deathstalker. All of my screenshots are boobs or mudwrestling. So here’s how it went in my memory… John Deathstalker of the Cambridge Deathstalkers lives in a world where roving gangs of horsemen are pillaging all the villages. He stops them when he feels like it and almost gets some raping himself. But then… he finds an attractive female… but then he gets sidetracked by a wizard or something… but THEN… he gets invited to a fighting tournament hosted by another sorcerer, who wants to kill all the warriors so that NO ONE CAN STOP HIM. There were some gender bending shenanigans and then I had to change a diaper and the movie was over. the end (4 sequels later)
Movie Men at Arms, I totally thought today was Wednesday. Last week we continued the tradition of ruining our childhoods by shining the harsh light of reality on them (or making the older members of the group wonder what is up with our taste) by watching the 1987 Canon films ‘classic’ Masters of the Universe.
Movie Homies, Sorry for the late email, lets try to do this tonight. Last week we watched CB4, starring everyone you’ve seen in a black comedy for the next 15 years. It was my first time watching it and since I had to take care of a baby, I didn’t get to catch every scene. But I liked it. It was totally dated and some jokes felt flat. but overall it’s a good pick for me. that cougar was on the prowl. very limber. This is the part of the group I like most, watching movies for the first time that I hadn’t gotten around to watching. This week, honors go to Dan and then will be passed to the Bill’s. It might even make it back around to me. STRAIGHT OUTTA LOCASH! -Mark
Movie P. Warrells, Just 5 grown men watching a tv commercial based kids movie from 25 years ago. Nothing to see here.
Movie Blokes, 37 for real this time. According to the list we’ve watched 37 movies. but we started the list with #1, so this is the 38th email.
Toonces, is that you? Starring: Johnny Whitaker Kristine DeBell Justin Cone Janis Valdez Daniel Dannas And Eric Roberts as Duffy Do you ever feel like you don’t know what to do after you’ve retired but still have life to live while from your unusually furnished porn house with your emo acting son? Well things get exciting when a talking cat strolls in to change everyones lives with his sage advice. This movie had deep character development and growth as we watch two halves of a family became one as a single mother and father met. The mothers daughter gained a valuable role model and help developing her program that uses a LED light on a shirt size/washing instructions tag to tell you how to dress the best. The mothers son agreed to teach the Fathers son how to swim. The former son didn’t really do much. While the second learned how to woo the ditz
Movie Bros, Last week we watched a seminal film in the 80’s canon, HOTDOG the Movie. It was clearly the foundation that later gave us ski school, snowboard academy, and later Out Cold. Having seen all those I think I was expecting more wacky shenanigans. But this was 1982, so lets hear it for clueless rubes, promiscuous coeds, and racist stereotypes! And lets really hear it for an extended ‘ski ballet’ section that really firmly planted the movie in an era foreign to all of us. Also lets end the movie with a no holds barred race that negates all of the rest of the film. But I still enjoyed it, there’s only so many 80’s movies left that I haven’t seen.
Movie Gods, As Chris pointed out in the last email, we watched the wrong Hercules. We watched the sequel, also known as “The Adventures of Hercules” or “Hercules II” which has all of the shitty-ness of the 1983 movie with infinitely less bear fights. It was sometimes enjoyable because of the crazy dubbing and terrible green screen effects. but it didn’t have that pizzazz that punching a bear into space would bring.