2D Movie Night

Movie Brothers, So Mario Brothers… this was the first Video Game Movie, it’s known as a pretty big bomb and is not available on any streaming service. We had to download a copy that looked like it was stolen from Kazaa in 2000. But I personally think it holds up. I mean they didn’t have much to work with, I couldn’t tell you the backstory of Mario or even the world it takes place in. Really the only flaw in the movie is that it’s not MORE over the top. There’s nothing that stands out as like WOW THAT WAS INSANE. 

Movie Men,  This week #99 for the third straight week. We are really milking this 99th movie. We watched a movie that I knew existed, but had no real idea what it was about. I knew that it starred Mickey Rourke and that it wasn’t very good. But I was actually surprised, it was pretty well made it’s just that the plot didn’t make a lot of sense. Actually it kind of reminds me of that Nic Cage – WIllam defoe one we watched a couple ones back. It’s got some great scenes, they just don’t come together as a movie. 

Movie Juggers,  This week we went back to that joyous time called the 1980s. A time when you could convince someone to give you money for… and star in… a movie about post apocalyptic Quidditch. It was a weird time. It was a weird movie. They didn’t do a very good job explaining WHY this was happening… or really what was happening in the sport. I guess since you couldn’t just have some kind of zombie Marv Albert commentating on the play by play it was kind of hard to explain the rules. The rules seem to be, teams of 4? and you you have to have one guy using the giant Q-tip, one guy using the swinging chain ladder, one guy using the long hook thing, and one quick running around guy. The objective seems to be… just to get the dog skull onto the spike, no other rules. but all the types of

Continue reading#99 – The Blood of Heroes

Movie Prisoners,  Chris G didn’t think we could handle the slowness of a 2 hour movie even if it contained a Nic Cage chainsaw fight at some point. So we went back into the vault and found  “Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky” and sweet lord was it glorious.  I’m not well versed in the Kung-Fu movies, I went through a little bit of a Bruce Lee / Jackie Chan phase in high school, but I stuck to the classics. So this was not on my radar.

Movie Aliens,  So Cote gave 3 choices last night. But it turns out that Even “The Internet” is not interested in pirating “Mil Mascaras and the Aztec Mummy”. So we tried “One Cut of the Dead” which despite being released in 2017 in Japan, hasn’t been released online yet. So third Choice, “Anna and the Apocalypse” which is being released outside of film festivals November 30, 2018… so WILD CARD… we go back to THE LIST and choose a long ‘almost choice’ ‘GALAXY OF TERROR’!This movie was weird, weird in that bad way that makes you question all the choices the film makers made. The set design and creature effects were pretty good for the 80’s (thanks James Cameron) but it had that classic 80s thing of “OH MY GOD THIS MOVIE IS SO SLOW”

Movie Recruits, Last night we went back to the well. Back to that good good time called “The 90’s”. When a skinny little weasel captivated America with his gen X slacker ways. We watched the Pauly Shore classic “In The Army Now”. I remember watching this movie A LOT, it came out when I was 14 and I was a big Pauly Shore fan. This movie is the third in the “Pauly Shoriverse” and was released after Encino Man ($40 mill) and Son in Law ($36 Million). ITAN followed that path and grossed $28 Mill. If you want to keep going… Jury Duty ($17 million) and Bio Dome ($13 milllion). 

Movie Transvestite Villains,  Goins was out seeing a movie from 1986 (Transformers : The Movie), We watched one from the very same year. Who saw the better movie? I think it’s CLEAR that we did! We saw things that you cannot unsee! Things that will forever haunt our sexual fantasies! We watched an all time lost classic.

Movie Mustaches,  In tribute to the passing of Burt Reynolds yesterday we convinced Bill to pick a Burt Reynolds movie we/he picked GATOR. What we learned is that despite an action packed trailer, classic 70’s movie poster and the presence of young Lauren Hutton… you should just always watch Smokey and the Bandit. We were somehow sold by a trailer that just describes who is in the movie and what stunts they will do. 

Movie Criminals,  Last week we watched “Dog Eat Dog” a 2016 movie starring Nicolas Cage. It was the second half of a much delayed Cage Double Feature. Like most things in life it was not as good as ‘Vampires Kiss’. 

Movie Vampires, I don’t know what I thought we were going to see last night, but I did not expect this. It’s kind of amazing that you can listen to comedians describe a movie for an hour and still not have any idea of the plot. But this movie was insane. Vampires Kiss 1988